Picture something with me.
Imagine a bow hunter, getting ready to go deer hunting.
He's done a lot of preparation for this. He scouted the location. He set up his deer stand in the perfect tree, in the perfect spot. He's got his camo gear on, he's got his deer urine applied. He spent the equivalent of his last paycheck on a high quality bow. He is well-prepared.
He wakes up early and goes out before sunrise. He settles into his deer stand. He's all set, ready to go. He doesn't know when the deer is going to show itself, but he has everything in place.
After hours of waiting, a deer emerges from out of the trees. It casually walks straight towards him. The hunter slowly, silently gets his arrow out and notches it in place. When the deer is in range, he slowly pulls back, aims, and releases. The arrow flies straight at the deer, and hits the deer right on target!
But, to his utter disappointment, the arrow hits the deer and bounces right off, falling to the ground. The deer, surprised but uninjured, runs off, and is gone.
The hunter's heart sinks. He climbs down from the stand and walks dejected over to where the arrow fell. He picks up the arrow to examine it, and he can see very quickly the reason the arrow didn't pierce the deer:
The arrowhead isn't sharp. It's as dull as a butter knife.
He thought he had everything in place for a successful hunt. He spent time finding the right spot, he got out early in the morning, he had on the right gear, and he bought a good bow.
He did all this preparation, but forgot about the most important part: the tip of the arrow. That's where the rubber meets the road (or where the arrow meets the deer). All of that planning and preparation ultimately leads up to the moment that arrowhead hits the deer.
And it's all pointless if the tip of the arrow isn't sharp and reliable.
This is exactly how it is with the journey to be free from porn. Just like the bow hunter, you may plan and prepare. Maybe you've set up the filters on your devices. Maybe you have someone in your life to hold you accountable. Maybe you've joined a recovery group. Maybe you even see a counselor who specializes in this type of struggle.
I did every single one of these.
I did everything I could to plan and prepare. But I still wasn't having success. I would still give into the urge when it came. I wasn't experiencing freedom.
Why not? I didn't have a reliable, sharp arrowhead.
What is the "arrowhead"? It's your plan for how you will handle that intense moment when the urge to watch porn shows up.
Is your arrowhead sharp and reliable? Is your plan clear, defined, actionable? And importantly, has it given you the results you want?
Hopefully you can answer with a confident "Yes!"
If not, just like that hunter in the story above, you're not going to have what you need for success, to get the results you want.
Doing some preparation in advance is very important (filters, accountability, community), but all of that is for nothing if you don't have a clear, reliable, plan for that moment when the urge hits you.
Just like the arrowhead, your plan needs to be sharpened, and in place. You may not always know exactly when you'll need it, but it must be prepared and ready to be put into action.
So what about you? What is the arrowhead you use? How has it worked for you? Is it clear, actionable, and razor-sharp?
Or, when that moment comes, is it more like a butter knife? Dull, ineffective, and not giving you the results you desperately want?
After trying many (or pretty much all) "arrowheads" for over 20 years, there is literally only one that has given me the results and the freedom I thought I could never experience.
Here it is: P.A.T.H. Plan
What's important is that you HAVE a reliable plan, ready to be implemented at a moment's notice, and that it is giving you results.
Do you have a reliable plan in place for that next time the urge shows up? What plans have you used in the past?
Seriously, I'm curious! Feel free to reply to this email. I'd love to hear about your experience!
Journeying with you,
Dan