Is your life busy?
Do you feel that you have a surplus of mental bandwidth, ample free time, and large amounts of flexibility in your daily schedule? If you said yes, you are in the minority. If you said "no," I'm right there with you. I am a full-time husband, full-time dad of two young girls (and our youngest happens to be in the "terrible twos" phase and just figured out how to climb out of her crib!), and full-time employee. I am involved in a weekly meeting of men seeking sexual health and integrity. I have close friendships that are very important to me to maintain. I have daily exercise goals, daily mental health goals, books I am reading, and not to mention this passion project called New Paths. Your situation may be different than mine, but I'll bet you can relate to feeling stretched, and wishing there was more time. So here's a question: Given how busy life can be, how are we supposed to pursue freedom from porn in the midst of nonstop busyness? What does that really look like? When I first started experiencing real freedom from porn using the P.A.T.H. Plan, we had just adopted our youngest daughter. She was only a few months old. We were trying to get her on a good sleep schedule. We were dealing with bottles, formula, naps, everything that goes into adding a newborn to your family. Was I stretched? Absolutely. But it was in this season that I really started to see victories and wins that I hadn't experienced in over 20 years of struggling. What's my point? You don't need hours each day to devote to this pursuit to start experiencing true, lasting freedom. Really, you only need a few minutes each day. What does this actually look like? Let's get practical. The P.A.T.H. Plan gives you the specific, effective steps to take when you experience the feeling of intense desire to watch porn. When that urge hits you, and you are flooded with desire in that moment, the P.A.T.H. Plan is your go-to. But what about the times when you aren't in that place? What can you do in the meantime? What work can you do to help increase the chance that you will actually implement your plan when that urge hits you? There is one daily habit that I discovered that greatly increased my chance of success. And it literally takes a minute. What is this habit? Practicing in advance. Like a great athlete who visualizes the shot going in, or a great salesman picturing the perfect pitch, you can use the power of your mind to see yourself implementing the P.A.T.H. Plan the next time you experience the urge to watch porn. As we've discussed before, you can probably predict with high accuracy the next time you might feel the desire to watch porn. This is great news. It means you can also visualize yourself in that specific instance implementing your plan. And if you can visualize it in advance, you WILL increase the chance that you will actually DO it. Again, practicing in advance in your mind literally takes a minute. And it's something you can do every day. If you are busy like me, think through specific times that occur every day when you can mentally practice in advance. It's important to think of a time that will occur daily. What are some of these times you have? Maybe for you, it's on your commute in the morning. Maybe it's when you are in the shower. Maybe you take a walk or go on a run in the mornings. Maybe you have a quiet time in the mornings. Maybe you do it while you make your morning breakfast or empty the dishwasher. Whatever it is for you, all it takes is a daily, reoccuring time when you can take a minute to practice in advance. I want to repeat how pivotal this will be for you if you make this a daily habit. You are automatically increasing your chances for success when you implement this. When you increase your chances, it means that you will more quickly build the skill of effectively handling the urge. This means you will also start to experience the amazing feeling of freedom sooner. Increasing your chances for freedom only takes a minute each day. In other words, even in the busyness of life, you can take a daily step towards freedom. Let's go! Dan