I have a confession to make. I have an ulterior motive to all of this.
Do I want you to experience the fresh air of lasting freedom that eluded me for over 20 years? Desperately. Is that my only purpose, to see you living in freedom from porn? No, it's not. In order to help you understand my "other" motive, I want to invite you to think about something exciting: Think about the man you want to be. What are the goals you want to achieve, the plans you want to implement, the dreams you want to accomplish? Who is the person you want to become? What are the steps or scary things you've thought about doing but keep putting off? What are those things for you? Is it that conversation with your boss that you've been putting off? Maybe it's a side hustle, a passion project that you can't get out of your mind. Is it being the father to your kids that you know you can be, or the husband to your wife that you know she deserves. Or maybe you're single and it's that girl you've thought about asking out, or signing up for that dating website. Now, think about this question: What's stopping you? Is it a lack of knowledge? Is it simply not knowing the first step to take, or how to get on the right path? In my experience, for those goals and dreams we desperately want, we usually know exactly what we have to do. We know what has to be done to move us in the right direction. We live in the information age. If there is anything we have plenty of, it's information. So then, what's stopping you from moving towards those dreams and goals? Here's what I believe is the main roadblock from us achieving what we dream of: it's the difficult emotions and feelings we run into when we take steps to pursue those dreams. Think about this in relation to a goal or dream that you've thought about. Maybe you thought about a passion project or side hustle to start. What do you run into when you consider actually pursuing it? Fear, maybe? "What if I fail?" Maybe some imposter syndrome? "What will my family and friends think about me?" Maybe you've thought about wanting to be the best dad to your kids that you can be. You decide to really pursue this. Then, what happens? The kids act up. They disobey. They misbehave. And this after you've had a long stressful day. What feelings do you run into? Anger? Stress? Frustration? Impatience? And that goal of being a stellar dad goes out the window. Maybe you've thought about asking that girl out on a date. Why haven't you? What do you run up against? Fear? Self-doubt? Thoughts of rejection? Have these feelings kept you from even making an attempt? I'm going to ask you kind of a mind-blowing question: What if you could handle these feelings? What if you knew what to do when those feelings came up? What if, when you felt fear, impatience, imposter syndrome, anger, you knew how to process those feelings? What if you knew how to allow them to flow through you, rather than overtake you and stop you from that important step you were going to take? What possibilities would open up for you if you knew how to effectively handle those feelings in a healthy way? Does that sound pretty amazing? Maybe too good to be true? Maybe even impossible? Let me pause here. You might be thinking, "Okay so wait. I thought that your main deal was helping guys experience freedom from porn. What in the world does this have to do with the porn struggle?" Here's how your goals and dreams are connected to the porn struggle. We've been exploring together why it is absolutely essential to learn the skill of handling and processing that intense urge to watch porn. This was the piece that I was missing after trying almost everything for 20 years and having very limited success. That's exactly why I developed the P.A.T.H. Plan, so you can learn this skill for yourself. Back when I first learned this skill and experienced the thrilling feeling of freedom from porn, I also discovered something I was not expecting. I started to see that other feelings and emotions could be handled and processed in a similar way. Here's what I mean. When I was feeling anxious, angry, stressed, I started to realize that I wasn't processing those emotions either. I was either giving into those feelings or resisting them and trying to bury them. This is exactly what I had been doing with the urge to watch porn (which doesn't work, FYI). So, I started to take this skill of processing the urge to watch porn and use that towards other emotions when they arose. I applied the same principles of awareness, curiosity, compassion, and allowing the feeling. It helped me when I felt anxious, or fearful, or like an imposter, or angry. Once I started to apply these principles to other feelings, they were no longer debilitating roadblocks to the goals I had and the man I desire to be. Please take a few seconds to let this sink in. As we explored above, I believe the difficult feelings that you run into when you take steps towards your dreams are your biggest hindrance to you achieving those dreams. So imagine if you possessed the skill to effectively handle those feelings. Those roadblocks are gone. This literally opens the door to limitless possibilities. You can dream bigger than you ever have before. So there you have it. The cat's out of the bag. Do I want you to experience the excitement of being free from porn? Yes. More than you know. But as I've confessed, I have a bigger hope for you. I want you to experience freedom from porn, and the freedom to endless possibilities. I want you to see new, exciting paths in front of you, free from any hindrance or roadblocks. It's yours for the taking. Journeying with you, Dan