I don't know if you've ever been in a meeting with other guys specifically to talk about sexual addiction. But I've been in probably over a hundred of them.
I can tell you one thing that you see all the time in these meetings: Nodding heads. Here's what I mean. A guy shares about something he's struggling with, or maybe a past instance of giving in to an urge to watch porn. As he's sharing, heads are nodding around the room. Why? Because more often than not, it's something other guys have experienced too. "Oh yeah, been there before." "Yep, I know exactly what you mean." "Definitely man, that's so hard." There are exceptions of course. Not everyone struggles with the exact same thing. But more often than not, what we're experiencing is not unique. The human experience is a shared experience, "common to man." The feelings we feel, the struggles we face, we all experience them to some extent. Okay so, great, we're all the same. How is that helpful? I think it's helpful and important to remember for two reasons. Number one: you're not weird. You're not a freak. You're not "messed up." What you struggle with, the difficult feelings and thoughts you have are not unique to you. If it's something you struggle with, there are also thousands or even millions of others that also struggle with it. Just realizing this is powerful. Simply knowing that someone else struggles with the same thing is heartening. It decreases the shame and gives much needed encouragement. The second reason why this is helpful is that you are not alone. You don't have to walk this journey solo. We accomplish more together than on our own. We're better together. Two heads are better than one. A rope made of three cords is not easily broken. These are all sayings that communicate a powerful truth. We achieve more when we do it with others. Do you want to know how to lower your chance of experiencing freedom from porn? Go it alone. Do you want to know how you can significantly increase your chance of experiencing true freedom? Involve others. Walk this journey with other trusted, accepting, encouraging people. I'm speaking from experience. Going it alone is like going on a week-long hike carrying an 80-pound pack. Walking this journey with others is like going on that same hike, but having three or four other guys to divide the 80-pound pack with. Which scenario would you prefer? So how do we involve others in this journey we are on? After all, this is not a topic you share with just anyone. It's a tricky topic to bring up. In next week's email, I'm going to give you three examples of how I have done this in my own life, which might give you some ideas of how you can involve others in your journey. See you next week! Next step, Dan