How to Face Porn Temptation with Confidence: The Power of a Plan

For many of us, the desire to quit porn is strong, but the struggle to stay committed when temptation strikes can feel overwhelming.

If you're reading this, chances are you’ve tried multiple ways to stop watching porn and have found them ineffective. I’ve been there too. In this blog, we’re going to break down why traditional methods often fail and, more importantly, how a practical, predetermined plan can help you regain control, overcome porn addiction, and find lasting freedom. I’ll also introduce you to a plan that worked for me after years of frustration—a plan designed to tackle the real culprit: the craving itself.

Why Traditional Approaches to Quit Porn Fail

Most of us have heard common advice for how to stop porn addiction: take a walk, call a friend, or distract yourself. While these methods sound good on paper, they rarely address the root issue—the intense desire to watch porn. If these tactics worked, you wouldn’t still be searching for a solution, right?

The problem is that traditional approaches focus on avoiding or distracting from the craving rather than addressing it head-on. And that’s why they fail. If you want to overcome porn addiction, you need a plan that directly targets the feeling of temptation, not just the behavior.

Here’s the thing: quitting porn is not just about willpower or distractions. The true crux is the craving, the intense desire that floods your mind and body. The plan I’m about to share targets that desire and helps you process it in a way that reduces its intensity over time, and helps you actually turn processing temptation into a skill that you get better at.

The Power of an Effective Plan

What makes a plan effective? It must address the source of the temptation—the feeling of desire. When I finally understood this, it changed everything for me. An effective plan doesn’t try to suppress or ignore the craving; it teaches you turn towards it to handle it with confidence.

Let me give you an example. Imagine you’re dealing with a difficult customer—let’s call him Jeff. Jeff is upset and venting at you, even though it’s not your fault. How do you handle this situation? You could argue with Jeff, but that would only escalate the tension. You could ignore him, but that wouldn’t resolve anything and Jeff would just circle back around with the same problem. The best way to handle Jeff is to listen, stay calm, and allow him to express his frustration. And you don't get entangled in Jeff's emotion. You breathe through the discomfort of the situation and stay in the driver's seat. Eventually, Jeff will calm down because he feels heard.

Temptation works the same way. It’s like an upset customer. If you try to suppress or fight the feeling, it intensifies. But if you allow the temptation to exist, calmly acknowledging it without judgment, this "processes" and resolves the desire. By staying calm and turning your attention towards the desire, you give it space to be processed, and over time, the temptation becomes less frequent and less intense.

This method of handling temptation is backed by the research. Studies show that turning towards the feeling, rather than trying to fight against it, is the best way to help the craving pass.

Step-by-Step: How to Stop Watching Porn Using a Practical, Proven Plan

So how do you ACTUALLY do this? Every time you feel tempted to watch porn, follow these steps to practice this new skill of effectively processing the craving:

1. Pause and Breathe: The moment you feel the urge, stop, pause, and take a deep breath. This simple action gets energy flowing to your thinking, rational brain. It gets you prepared to handle the situation like a boss.

2. Acknowledge the Temptation: Next, calmly name the feeling: "Hm, I’m feeling the urge to watch porn right now." Studies show that simply labeling the emotion helps reduce its intensity. This step keeps you in the driver’s seat, almost stepping outside of the feeling, rather than letting the craving dictate your actions.

3. Let the Craving Be: Now, here’s the counterintuitive part: allow the craving to be there. Just like an upset customer, let the feeling rant and rage. Don’t fight it, don’t try to push it away. You can't, and trying to push it away just fuels it. Accept the discomfort of the feeling. After all, it's just discomfort. Nothing more. It's not going to harm you, and it has no authority. It’s just discomfort, and it will pass.

This method of responding to temptations and urges is called “processing the feeling,” and it’s backed by research. The more you practice it, the better you get at it. And, gradually, the urges will become less frequent and less intense. And THIS is how you achieve freedom.

The PATH Plan: A Proven Tool to Break Free of Porn

If you’re ready to quit porn, you need a concrete plan to follow. And I've got you covered.

I’ve created a free resource called The PATH Plan. It’s a simple, four-step plan that will guide you through the process of handling temptation. This plan is based on science and research, and it’s the exact method that helped me break free of pornography addiction after 20 years.

Download The PATH Plan for free here.

If you already have a plan in place and it’s working for you, then by all means keep using it. But if you’ve been struggling to stick to your plan or don’t know what to do when temptation strikes, The PATH Plan will give you the clarity and confidence you need.

Overcoming Porn Addiction Once and For All

Freedom from porn addiction is absolutely possible. I’m living proof. It doesn't have to be a grind to get there. And, I can tell you that it's more wonderful than you can even imagine. But it requires a clear, practical plan that addresses the real issue: the craving. You don’t need more willpower or distractions—you need a strategy that helps you process the feeling.

The PATH Plan is the best way I've ever found after 20 years of struggling and searching. It's the best way to make progress on your journey to freedom. You don’t have to wonder anymore how to stop watching porn or how to stop porn addiction. You have the tools right in front of you.

Take the next step today. Download The PATH Plan, start practicing it, and begin your journey toward lasting freedom from pornography addiction.

If you want to dive deeper into this topic, check out episodes 35 through 38 of the podcast where I break down each step of The PATH Plan in more detail. And if you’re interested in joining a small group of men who are committed to this journey, head over to newpaths.me to learn more about my coaching program.

You can break free of porn. True, lasting freedom is possible for you.

Take the next step today!

Subscribe to The New Paths Podcast! (APPLE PODCASTS OR SPOTIFY)

Find out why you haven't been able to stop: GET THE FREE "MISSING PIECE GUIDE"

Never wonder again what to DO when you feel tempted: DOWNLOAD THE PATH PLAN

Porn addiction coaching: APPLY TO JOIN THE JOURNEYMEN SMALL GROUP TRAINING!

Transcript: Episode #122: (Part 1) THE Three Keys To Effectively Handle Temptation

Hey what's up, thanks for listening to this episode of the new Paths podcast! We're diving into a three-part training on the three things that you absolutely MUST HAVE, if you want to be able to successfully face temptation and come out victorious on the other side, and do that many times, so that it becomes a skill, that you learn! And just like any skill, you get better at it, it becomes easier, and eventually it becomes second nature, and that's! How you achieve freedom and start living life that you only dreamed of. 

My commitment to you, the best and more heroic audience of any podcast ever, is I will not hold back. I'm going to give you all of the goods. I will give you everything you need to be free. I'm giving you the keys. If you DO these things and install these three keys of what I call the Frontline Framework, freedom will absolutely be inevitable for you. I'm desperate for you to start living in the exhilarating freedom that I've been living in for the past 4 years. It IS possible for you. You CAN step out of the haze and smog of shame, guilt, fear, hopelessness, and into the fresh air of peace, confidence, new horizons, and excitement about what's possible for you. So I promise to give you everything that you need, everything that I DID and still do, to step into this real, lasting, exhilarating freedom.

And, before we dive into the first part of the front line framework, I'm excited to share something new with you as well. For you, as you listen to this podcast, as you hear me talk about the front line framework, if it resonates with you, and you're like I was and you say, yes, this is what I need, this is what I've been missing, and you want to take the next step, I have a brand new way that you can do that. If you want to join me, and a small group of other guys who are pursuing the same Freedom as you, and train together to IMPLEMENT and INSTALL this Frontline framework that you will hear me talk about, then journeymen is for you.

Journeymen is a brand new, four month, online small group training with me, where we will be installing the three part frontline framework into daily life. This isn't your typical accountability group. This is frontline training, to turn you into a Jedi when it comes to temptation, so that you can feel confident and poised each time you feel that intense desire to go back to porn. Because when you can learn the skill of effectively handling that Frontline craving, you can be done with porn forever. You can start living the life you were meant to live. You can open up your horizons to exciting possibility, dreams, goals, that you never thought possible.

This is the first time I'm offering this Journeymen training, this is a beta group, which means two things for you: the cost for this group will never be lower, AND you are going to help shape this group for future guys that go through it.

There are only five seats for this training, one is filled already, so there are four seats left. Once all the seats are filled, Journeyman will be closed until the next group opens up, which won't be for a number of months. So if it sounds interesting to you, don't wait. Head to Newpaths.me, which I recently updated. At newpaths.me you can click the button in the top right, send me an email, we'll schedule a non-salesy, no-pressure call, and we'll find out if journeymen could be the thing that accelerates you to the freedom that you've been longing for.

This journey, the pursuit of freedom from porn, is one of the most important, noble, heroic,  and life-changing journeys you will ever go on. I'm proud that I went on this journey. It's so exciting to see where I am today, the freedom that I live in, compared to the shackles of shame that I used to live in. and I'm desperate for you to experience the same freedom. so if you're interested to find out more about journeymen, head to newpaths.me, and click the button in the top right to shoot me an email.

Okay, let's dive in. 

If you want to experience real, lasting freedom from the life-choking, joy smothering, shame inducing habit of porn, if you want to be free of this once and for all, there's no getting around the fact that you are going to have to face the temptation, the urge, to pull up your phone or computer, and turn back to porn, even after you've decided to pursue freedom. Unless you live the rest of your life in an Amish community or you become a Buddhist monk, you WILL face that intense burning desire and temptation hundreds, if not thousands of times. I call those moments of temptation the front line. Those moments are where the rubber meets the road. Those frontline moments of desire are WHERE you move forward on the journey. And in order to effectively handle and not give into the temptation and urge to watch porn, and to do this repeatedly, there are three things that you absolutely must have. They are not optional if you want to be able to repeatedly handle those cravings successfully.

I struggled with porn for over 20 years, and I'm now living in exhilarating freedom, and the reason why is because of the frontline framework that I'm going to share with you over these next three episodes. And in this episode, we're going to dive into the first essential piece of the framework.

So, to illustrate this first piece, I want to talk about baby books for a second.

Back in 2013 my wife was pregnant with our first daughter. And to say that I was unprepared would be a hilarious understatement. I was pretty good with kids in general, but I knew nothing about babies. I had never changed a diaper in my life. I didn't understand about feeding, naps, schedules, all that. I was completely clueless. So I did what I typically do when I feel uncertain about something, I began consuming lots of information. I started looking into lots of different baby books.

and if you've ever been a new parent looking for good resources, you soon discover that there are approximately a billion baby books out there. And the wonderful thing is that they will often tell you complete opposite things to do. so that makes the life of a completely clueless new parent like myself kind of challenging. but some friends told us about this book series called babywise, so, I started reading baby wise.

My wife and I resonated with it, and ended up sticking with that book and the plan and recommendations that it gave us. so I tore into this book before our daughter was born, I was highlighting sections, I was underlining, I was bookmarking the most relevant sections, and read and re-read the book. And as I read it, something amazing started to happen. I started to feel more confident as a new dad. I started to feel empowered. I felt like I was ready to take on this wonderful new challenge. I trusted the plan that the book was giving me, and my confidence doubled and tripled, BECAUSE, I knew exactly! what to do! I knew the schedule, I knew when to put her down for a nap, when to feed her, how to help her sleep, what to do when she starts crying after we put her down for a nap. Because I had this baby Wise book and it was telling me exactly what to do and when, I was transformed from UNSURE, TO UNSHAKEABLE. It was all because of one thing, I had baby Wise. Or in other words, I had a plan.

Maybe for you, when it comes to facing that front line temptation, that familiar urge you feel to go back to porn, maybe you've felt unsure about what to do in those situations. About how to handle that overwhelming, tidal wave of desire to view that thing on your phone or computer. When it comes to facing that temptation, would you say that you feel unsure, or unshakable? 

Maybe for you, you're saying, I honestly feel unsure when it comes to how to handle that temptation, or if you even felt a bit hesitant about how to answer that, you need your own baby Wise. If you want to go from unsure to unshakable, you need, a practical, effective, predetermined, plan.

The transformation that happens to you simply when you get a plan in place is really astounding. 

I struggled with porn for over 20 years, I'm living in freedom, and I can tell you that the only way that I know of to be able to face temptation successfully hundreds or thousands of times is to have an effective plan in place.

That's the first piece of the front line framework, a plan! Something that you can turn to every time you face temptation. So that when you're flooded with desire, you don't have to think about, "oh man what do I do?" If you do that, you're toast. So, you must have a plan that is predetermined, practical, and effective. And you're going to hear how to make sure it's effective.

Let me ask you another question first. What is YOUR plan, right now, the next time you feel that familiar temptation to watch porn? You know you're going to feel tempted, right? It's not a question of whether you will feel the strong urge to view porn. We know it's going to happen, right? We should never be surprised by it. So, whether you feel that strong urge in 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, whenever that hits you like a ton of bricks, what is YOUR plan?

Can you easily answer that question? Do you currently have a clear plan in place? Think back over the months, years, or maybe even decades that you've struggled with porn. Have you EVER, really had a clearly defined, predetermined plan for what you will DO when you feel the desire to watch porn? I know over the 20 years that I struggled with porn, I had maybe a couple grasping at straws types of plans in place, things like, I'll do something enjoyable like play video games (this was back in my single days). That never gave me a winning track record. Or, I'll call a friend. And as we all know, the phone of friend strategy works approximately 0% of the time.

Think about it, the craving to watch porn is so incredibly strong, so intense, it overwhelms you. Is it any Wonder that I couldn't break free from porn after struggling with it for over 20 years when I never had an effective plan for what to do in that moment? It simply never dawned on me during that whole time that, hey, it's so powerful and overwhelming, you might need to think about what to do in advance, and if it hasn't been effective, change it! Because as soon as that temptation hits you, if you don't do something quickly, your desire is going to quickly knock any previous commitments or promises right out of your brain. You have to act quickly, and you can't act quickly in the front line moment if you haven't already decided in advance what you're going to do. Does that make sense? You need a plan, that is predetermined, practical, and effective. 

So how can we be sure that a plan is effective? How do we know if a plan is effective or ineffective? Well for starters, if it's something you've tried in the past, it's probably ineffective. Because if it was effective, you probably wouldn't be listening to the podcast right now right? So I would immediately toss out about 90% of what you've heard or tried in the past. If what you've tried in the past hasn't worked, maybe it's time to try something different.

I'll tell you the key that I discovered to making a plan for the frontline...EFFECTIVE. Once I finally discovered this key, THAT'S when Freedom finally came. Here it is.

Your plan must address the feeling. Here's what I mean. If your plan is to take a walk, call a friend, distract yourself with a video game or TV show, What's the problem with these plans? They're not addressing the culprit. They're not addressing the direct CAUSE of the behavior that we're trying to stop. We want to address the root, not the fruit. The Immediate cause of the behavior is what? It's the desire right? It's the urge, the temptation. Here's how it typically goes, okay, listen closely to this pattern. You're alone. You have the thought that you could watch porn. 

That thought generates desire that floods your body. The desire is intense, and you give in to that desire. In that sequence, what's the direct cause of the behavior? It's the desire that you feel. If we didn't have that strong feeling called desire, it would be easy to stop watching porn. It's the desire that you feel that is the real culprit. It's the urge, the craving that ultimately snatches away the keys, gets in the driver's seat, and drives us into that behavior over and over and over. The desire is the direct cause. The craving is the culprit. If you want to stop the behavior, you need a practical, predetermined plan. For your plan to be effective, it needs to specifically target the feeling of desire.

Are you tracking so far? Just to recap real quick, if you want to be free of porn, there's no getting around the fact that you will have to successfully face the craving to watch porn hundreds if not thousands of times. This is absolutely possible, and in order to do it, the first of three things that you need is a plan that is predetermined, practical, and effective. In order for it to be effective, it needs to be a plan that specifically targets the feeling of desire, of craving. 

So now, I have great news: we already KNOW what works and what doesn't work when it comes to effectively handling a feeling like desire, craving, temptation, whatever you want to call it. It's no secret, it's not a mystery, we already know!

What does an effective plan look like for successfully handling the feeling of temptation? To illustrate, let me share an experience I had a while back. I was on the phone with a customer at my job, we'll call the customer Jeff, and Jeff was upset. Jeff was ranting and venting to me, almost yelling, and it was about something that I had absolutely no control over whatsoever. It was highly agitating to me, made me feel pretty irritated and uncomfortable, I could feel my heart rate increasing, feeling myself getting hot, as he was ranting and venting to me as though it were my fault and something that I could fix, and we both knew that I couldn't.

So what could I do in that situation? What would be the best way to handle that, and what would give me the best outcome? I could do the natural response of pushing back against Jeff saying, look jeff, just stop! There's nothing I can do about it! Why are you complaining to me? You can't talk to me like that when there's nothing I can do about it anyway! So stop COMPLAINING to me about it!

How would that go? We know intuitively that that's pouring fuel on the fire right? If Jeff is already heated and upset, responding that way it's just going to fan the flame and escalate it. So option number one is nit going to give me a good outcome. 

Option number two, I could just kind of ignore Jeff's rant, I could be thinking about something else, distract myself, read a book, while he's trying to yell at me. How is Jeff going to respond to that? Is that going to resolve his anger? Is he going to let it go at that point? No, probably not. He's probably just going to circle back around to me at some point and continue to rant and vent about it, and probably get even more upset when he realizes I'm not paying attention to him. So trying to ignore him without really hearing him and listening to him is not going to resolve this or be a good option for me either. 

So what should I do? Well, there's always a secret and better option number three isn't there?

What is option number three? If you have superb customer service skills, what are you going to do? You're going to give Jeff your attention, and patiently let Jeff rant. You're going to listen, you're going to validate his concerns, you're not going to judge him or say, c'mon Jeff you should just be grateful for the things you do have. No, you're going to acknowledge jeff, you're going to acknowledge his frustration, you're going to nod, kind of humor him, you're going to say things like, yes absolutely, that makes sense, you're not going to actually be able to FIX Jeff's problem, or do the thing that he ultimately wants you to do, AND, most importantly, you're not going to be derailed by his venting. You're going to stay calm through it, you're going to remain present. even though it feels uncomfortable and agitating, you remain in the driver's seat.

When you do this, when you remain calm, you give Jeff your attention, you give him permission to rant, and even yell, eventually, what happens? Jeff finishes, he starts to calm down BECAUSE he was able to express it to someone, and he feels better. The rant is done. And the key here is, gradually over time, his ranting and venting to you will be less frequent, and less intense. If you're always pushing back against Jeff when he's complaining and expressing anger to you, if you're always fighting back against him or not paying attention to him, he's going to continue to vent and complain very forcefully. But when you turn your non-judging, empathetic and compassionate attention towards Jeff and allow him to rent, he feels heard, and his ranting will become less and less frequent.

As crazy as it sounds, the truth is that temptation is like our upset customer, Jeff. I don't know why this is the case, but temptation is just like an upset customer, and the best and most effective way of handling temptation, is the same way that you would handle an upset customer. You want to be a customer service wizard to your temptations, cravings, and desires. And that's a sentence I'm guessing you've never heard before. 

In other words, your plan, in order for it to be effective must help you in a practical way to turn your non-judging and understanding attention, to the temptation when it arises, and to treat it like you would an upset customer.

you acknowledge the desire that's there, you give it permission and space to be heard, to be felt, even though it's uncomfortable, and you intentionally allow it to be there, until it finishes its rant and its urging. Because, just like Jeff, if you give it permission express its message, eventually it will stop. And when you do this, this is called "PROCESSING" the temptation, and it helps it gradually diminish over time, rather than just stuffing it back down.

Alright, so how the heck do you actually do this with the frontline temptation? Here's an example of what it looks like, then I'll give you a free resource so that you can be equipped to actually do this beginning with your very next temptation. Here is step by step, what an effective plan looks like.

When you feel the desire to go to porn, the first thing you do is immediately pause. You stop what you're doing, and you take a second to breathe. You're preparing yourself, and you're like, okay, here we go. So step 1, every time you feel that urge, pause, and take a breath. Next, you acknowledge and validate the temptation that you're feeling. You calmly say to yourself, okay, I'm noticing the strong urge to watch porn right now. Incidentally, studies show that when you simply name what you're feeling, it reduces the intensity of the feeling, and it increases cognitive control in that moment. In other words, it helps you STAY in the driver's seat rather than your desire. So step 2 is to simply name, and acknowledge, saying, "Hm, I'm feeling the strong urge to watch porn right now."

Step 3, after you've paused to take a breath, and acknowledged the feeling, just like I did with Jeff, you let the temptation vent. You let it burn, and let it be. You accept that the feeling is there, and you allow that craving rage and rant. Just like an upset customer. Now if you're saying to yourself, "Just let be there?! Why would I let temptation be there! I want it gone! I want to fight it away" Remember, just like Jeff, the best way to help it leave is actually by allowing it to be there. You want to know how to make the temptation more intense and take LONGER to leave? Resist it, try to make it go away, try to stuff it down. That is how you make the temptation more intense, and take longer to leave. It's counterintuitive, but again, just like Jeff, once you've paused to breathe, and acknowledged the feeling without judgment, the best and most effective next step, is to intentionally allow the temptation to be felt. It's not pleasant, it's uncomfortable, just like listening to an upset customer. It's uncomfortable, but THAT'S ALL. Nothing more. It's just discomfort. This ultimately is the one thing standing between you and freedom by the way. Discomfort. But just like a stellar customer service rep, you don't let the discomfort derail you. You stay calm, you breathe through it. You don't join in with him, you don't get entangled with his intensity and his emotion, you know that he is hilariously misguided, you know that the desire is completely wrong, grossly mistaken.

And eventually, just like the upset customer, the temptation goes away. But in a different way then you if you had tried to resist it, or push it down or distract yourself. When you turn TOWARDS the desire in this way without judgment, when you give it space to be felt and heard, this is called processing the feeling. When you resist or fight against a feeling like temptation, it doesn't really go anywhere, it doesn't go away. You've heard the phrase, stuffing it down, or pushing it back down, in relation to feelings. That's what resisting or distracting does. The feeling just gets pushed down, only to pop back up with the same or even greater intensity. But when you give it permission to be felt and heard, the feeling is able to be processed, and part of it....leaves. And when you do this enough times, gradually the cravings become less frequent, and less intense. This is also backed by science. Allowing feelings like cravings to be there, and giving them permission to be felt, is proven to help reduce the intensity and the duration of the feeling. And on top of that! The more you practice doing this, the more you practice this SKILL of turning towards and allowing that craving to be felt, the better you get at it. So! You're getting better at acknowledging the temptation and giving it permission to be felt, you realize more and more that it's simply discomfort and nothing more, and, gradually the cravings are becoming less intense, and fewer and farther between. And this! Is how Freedom happens. 

But it all starts...with a plan. It all starts by implementing a plan that is clear, practical, and that addresses the feeling. 

So how can you start practicing this new way of handling temptation like a jedi master? I've got you covered there with a free resource. I've created a practical four-step plan to actually do what we just talked about. It's called The Path plan, and it packages together the things that we know work! When it comes to handling the feeling of temptation. It's backed by research and science, and, this is the exact plan that set me Free from 20 years of porn addiction. You can get the plan FOR free at newpaths.me/plan. If you already have a plan in place, and it's giving you a winning track record, then keep doing what you doing. Keep practicing your plan.

But if you couldn't answer that question about what you will do the very next time you feel that temptation, then grab the path plan, start practicing it, so that you never have to wonder ever again what to do in response to those intense cravings. Begin practicing this plan with the very next temptation that you feel.

You CAN be free of porn once and for all. I'm living proof that it's possible. When you have the three parts of the front line framework in place, you CAN start experiencing exciting victories and real progress towards freedom. And the first step of the front line framework is a clear practical plan. And the best plan that I've ever used, and the one that was the key to my freedom, is the path plan. Get it for free at newpaths.me/plan.

If you want to hear me break down each step of the PATH Plan in more detail, check out episodes 35 through 38 of this podcast. They're oldies but goodies.

Alright so we just discussed the first essential piece of the front line framework: get an effective plan in place! But, we all know what tends to happen when you start to feel that craving. It becomes really difficult to stick with your plan right? You get into porn zombie mode where any prior plans or commitments tend to completely go out the window, it may briefly enter your mind, but the desire to go to porn can overwhelm any intention that you had to implement a plan and not give in, right? 

So how can you stay out of zombie mode and boost your chances of ACTUALLY IMPLEMENTING your plan in the intensity of that moment? That's the second essential piece of the Frontline Framework, and that's what we're going to dive into in the next episode. So stay tuned, and be sure to subscribe to the podcast if you haven't yet so that you automatically get each episode when it's released.

And lastly, if you want to join me and a small band of guys to install this Frontline Framework into your daily life, and be part of this new group training that I'm calling Journeymen, head to newpaths.me and click the button in the top right to send me an email and schedule a call. Again, there are only four seats left, and it's first come first served. So if it sounds interesting to you, don't wait. Head to newpaths.me, click the button, and we'll schedule a call to find out if Journeymen is a good fit.

Remember, true lasting freedom IS possible for you. Take the next step today.

Thanks for listening, see you next time!