I'm kind of a bird nerd.
I'm not an expert or anything, but I like birds.
Recently someone told me about an app called Merlin. If you hear a bird singing, you can pull up the app and it will tell you what bird it is based on the bird's song.
The other morning I was sitting on our porch early in the morning, and there were what sounded like hundreds of different bird calls. It sounded like a bird symphony.
I had an obvious thought, but it was also eye opening: these birds have always been making their sounds and singing their songs. I've just been noticing it more lately because I have the bird app on my phone. For the longest time, (and sometimes still) I'd be outside and there could be a few or many birds singing their songs and I wouldn't even notice. I can be completely oblivious to them.
Are you the same way with birds? Do you notice their calls when you are outside?
What about the "calls" of your internal world?
Do you notice the feelings, the emotions that are going on inside you? Or, is it like being outside with birds calling all around you, but you don't really even hear them?
Why is this important? And why does this matter for you to experience freedom from porn?
Because self-awareness is a foundational skill you need in order to be able to stop and notice when the urge to watch porn arises in you. When you are able to do that, you can then implement the P.A.T.H. Plan.
This skill will serve you in so many ways, but it will also give you the ability to stop and notice the urge when it hits you, rather than being swept away by it before you even know what happened.
How many times have you watched porn and then afterward asked yourself, "How did that even happen?"
That's what it looks like before you build the skill of self-awareness.
After you get this skill, when the urge hits you, you notice it. You stop what you're doing and observe it.
You step outside of it, rather than be driven by it.
Then you implement the P.A.T.H. Plan and process the urge, notching another win, another step on your path to freedom.
So how do you do this? How do you get this skill?
Think about how would you start learning the different bird calls if you decided you wanted to do that? You would go outside, and you would tune in to bird calls. There might be other noises that you have to learn to drown out, like traffic or kids playing next door.
But you would simply stop and start paying attention to those specific sounds.
It's the same way with your internal world. You stop and you start to pay attention.
If you've never really done this before, it's okay. Don't worry.
Just start.
(Here is a recent blog with three concrete, actionable tips you can use to build the skill of self-awareness)
So, let me invite you to start "noticing the birds." Turn on your Merlin app for the sounds going on inside you.
Remember, to walk in freedom, start paying attention to your inner world.
You got this!
Dan