"The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way." - Marcus Aurelius
Last week we looked at why it's far more helpful for you to condone the urge, rather than combat it. Remember, to condone the urge, you are seeing it and treating it as acceptable rather than bad or blameworthy. Instead of fighting and combating the urge when it hits you, regard it as a friend, an ally. Condone it. And as we'll see, the urge is actually your key to freedom. A stepping stone on your journey. "Wait, what? How can you say the urge is my key to freedom when it's caused me so much pain and trouble in my life?" I'm glad you asked. True lasting freedom is knowing how to process the urge effectively. To notice it, and to condone it. It's a skill that you learn. To learn any skill, you have to practice it. To practice this skill, first you have to feel the urge to watch porn. So, the urge becomes your opportunity to get another rep, to practice, and to get another win. Rather than the urge being your enemy, or the cause of your pain and downfall, it is now the key to experiencing true, lasting freedom. It becomes your next step. In other words: the urge that you condone becomes your stepping stone! Let me share what this looks like in real life. I remember not long ago, I would dread those times that I would be alone and I knew that I would be flooded with that intense desire to watch porn. It makes sense that I dreaded it, because I had never figured out how to handle it. I was helpless. A victim of that desire. I had no idea what to do, so it was inevitable that more often than not, I would give in to the desire. I felt like it was hopeless. I was no match for that intense feeling. Then, when I finally discovered a plan that actually addressed the feeling and I knew how to handle it and process it in an effective way, I became less fearful when I felt the urge. I almost started looking forward to the next time that happened so that I could give this new strategy a shot. It wasn't easy at first. It felt clunky. I wondered if I was doing it wrong somehow. But I kept at it. I didn't give up. And after completing four or five "reps" of the P.A.T.H. Plan when an urge arose, I started to feel like I was getting the hang of it. It felt smoother. Those 10 minutes of the "T" step became less and less intense. Seeing those "high fives" accumulate felt absolutely amazing, and it fueled me to keep going. My confidence grew. The fear of the urge started to go away completely. I began to almost welcome the next urge, because I knew exactly how to handle it, and I saw it as my next practice session. My next rep. I knew with each practice session, I was building this skill and getting better at it. This is exactly how the urge, which once felt like an enemy, becomes your ally. Your stepping stone. Instead of fighting it, resisting it, fearing it, dreading it, hating it, you shift your perspective and begin accepting it, welcoming it, condoning it. When you do this, what used to be the problem actually becomes the solution. The obstacle to freedom is now your path to freedom. Okay, so how do you actually DO this? How can you turn the urge into your key to lasting freedom? How can you make the urge your ally? Here's how: 1. You must notice the urge when it arises. 2. Rather than resist it or fight against it, allow it. Condone it. (the P.A.T.H. Plan gives you the exact steps to do this) The urge that you condone, becomes your stepping stone. So what about you? Are you ready to take the next step? Are you ready to take a different approach than the one that has given you limited success? You have the plan at your fingertips. You have the roadmap to finally start making steps towards true, lasting freedom. And guess what: it IS possible for YOU! This strategy works. Begin implementing it today! Let's go! Dan P. S. If you haven't downloaded it yet, get the P.A.T.H. Plan for free right now. This is your step-by-step guide so you know exactly how to effectively handle the urge the next time it hits you!