Friend? Or Foe?

Have you ever had that friend that gives really bad advice?

You know the type I'm talking about. You almost feel bad for him. He's sincere. He cares about you as a friend. He's truly trying to help. But his advice is terrible. Every time. And what's more, he's always very passionate about it. Insistent, pressuring, even demanding at times. You've learned over time that arguing with him and fighting back just adds fuel to the fire. It makes him even more insistent. So what do you do? You humor him. You listen. You nod. After all, he is your friend. Do you take the advice? Of course not. It's terrible advice. But he's your friend and you listen to him patiently until he's done. You wait for him to finish with his oration. When he's done, you thank him, and you move on. Here's a question: Have you ever thought about the urge to watch porn as a friend giving bad advice? Have you ever imagined this struggle as a part of you that is sincerely trying to help? It has the best intentions, it is very insistent and demanding, but it is misguided. For the majority of the 20 years that I struggled with porn, I viewed it as an enemy to wage war against. I saw it as a battle, as something to fight. Then I came across the notion: what if that familiar urge to watch porn is like a passionate, misguided friend giving me bad advice? Shifting my perspective on this changed everything. And I can tell you that THIS was a major turning point in my decades-long struggle. It paved the way for me to start experiencing real, lasting freedom. Why? Because if the urge to watch porn truly IS like a passionate friend giving bad advice, rather than fighting against it, the best response may be to simply humor it. To allow it to share its advice, and then move on. So what about you? How have you viewed this struggle? Have you seen it as an enemy to battle and to fight against? Do you see it as a passionate but misguided friend? Or do you see it in a different way? Seriously, I'm curious! I would love for you to reply to this email with your perspective and how you have viewed this struggle. Next step forward!

Dan P. S. If you want to dive into this idea further, I highly recommend the book Altogether You by Jenna Riemersma.

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