We have some weeds in our front lawn. It's alright though. I'm going to mow soon.
"Ummmm. You know they're just going to grow back, right?"
It's so intuitive it's almost funny. If you're trying to get rid of weeds, chopping some off the top isn't really going to help.
If you truly want the weed to be out of your lawn for good, you have to get to the root.
It's not rocket science. It's common knowledge. There's no trick to it, it's just how it works.
The root and the weed. The cause and the effect. It's plain to see with something like a weed.
But it's actually similar with experiencing lasting freedom from porn.
When we decide we want to stop watching porn and we simply try to stop the behavior, that's like saying, "I have some weeds in my front lawn. But it's okay, I'm mowing later."
Focusing on the behavior alone is like chopping off the top of a weed and hoping you've taken care of the issue. It's chopping the branch off a tree in attempt to kill the tree. It's addressing the fruit rather than the root.
If you've been trying to attain true freedom from porn for any amount of time, I don't have to convince you how ineffective this tends to be.
Have you simply tried harder to stop watching porn? In the words of Dr. Phil, "How's that working for you?"
Okay, if simply trying to stop the behavior doesn't work and we need to get to the root, what is the root? If the fruit, or the effect is the behavior of watching porn, what is the root, or the cause?
The root is the urge. This is the cause of the behavior.
And what is the urge?
The urge is that feeling you know very well. It's the sensation you get when the thought enters your mind to pull up that website, image, or video. It's that surge of adrenaline, the excitement, the tingling in your stomach. Your heart rate increases. Your breathing becomes quicker and more shallow.
It's the intense drive and desire to do the action of watching porn.
The urge drives the behavior. The behavior is what we're trying to stop. So, if we want to stop the behavior, we need a strategy for the urge.
Make sense?
Okay, so here's the good news: just like there are effective strategies and ineffective strategies for handling weeds, there are also effective and ineffective strategies for handling feelings, like the urge to watch porn.
For example, we know that resisting, suppressing, fighting against and condemning, are ineffective ways to respond to the urge when it arises.
On the other hand, we know that naming the feeling, having an attitude of curiosity and compassion and turning towards the feeling are effective strategies for handling the urge.
So, how do you actually DO this?
Here's some more good news! You already know exactly how: the P.A.T.H. Plan.
The P.A.T.H. Plan takes the things that work and packages it into a clear, concrete, actionable plan so that you know exactly what to do the next time that desire floods you.
Let me ask you a question: Do you feel stuck in the miserable cycle of watching porn, feeling shame and guilt, trying to stop, only to give in again?
If so, you may be mowing the lawn to get rid of the weeds.
Enough is enough. It's time to address the cause. It's time to be done with the shame, the guilt, the fear. It's time to start healing the broken relationships, or move forward with the ones you've been putting off. It's time to walk in the fresh air of freedom, where you are not weighed down by this constant burden anymore.
Don't continue another day in this pattern. Turn to the cause. Implement a strategy for the root. A strategy that works.
The stakes are high. They actually couldn't be much higher.
But the plan is clear, and it's at your fingertips.
This was THE missing piece that helped me finally experience victories and freedom that eluded me for over 20 years. This was the key that set me free from that miserable cycle.
If you haven't yet, take this plan and begin implementing TODAY.
You can do this! You know exactly how.
Next step,
Dan