Curiosity, not condemnation. Compassion, not judgment.
As we've discovered together, curiosity and compassion are two power tools that will help clear your path to freedom from porn. Today I'm giving you a simple trick to help increase curiosity and compassion immediately. With this struggle, we often have thoughts of judgment and self-condemnation. "I can't believe I'm still struggling with this." "I should have been able to break free by now." "I can't believe I messed up again." These are the thoughts I had after struggling for years and years. I felt so much shame and guilt. What I didn't realize was these condemning thoughts actually make it harder to experience freedom. It's like trying to run a race with an 80-pound pack on your back. Judgment, guilt, and shame fuel the porn struggle. But on the flip side, curiosity and compassion for yourself helps pave your way to freedom. It removes some of the burden as you journey onward. It increases your ability to handle the urge in a healthy, effective way when it arises. So, if curiosity and compassion are two things you absolutely want, how do you get more of it? There is a simple four-word phrase I am about to give you that can start moving you towards curiosity and compassion, and away from judgment and condemnation. Ready for it? "...and that makes sense." This is a powerful phrase to start adding to the end of sentences that would typically be condemning or shaming. "I feel so stressed...and that makes sense." "Wow, I messed up again...and that makes sense." "I just feel so angry...and that makes sense." When you add this phrase, you will find that a subtle shift occurs in your mind. You'll notice a shift from condemnation to compassion. From guilt to curiosity. You'll find that you will start to turn towards these thoughts and start to understand them better, rather than feeling shame about them and trying to push them away. It doesn't give excuses or scapegoats, but rather, it stirs up empathy, curiosity, and compassion for yourself. It starts to wash away some of the shameful feelings. Why does this matter? Because when you are able to approach that intense urge to watch porn from this stance, it supercharges your ability to handle and process that feeling in a healthy and effective way. Does that sound like something you want for yourself? Would you like to start moving away from guilt, shame, and condemnation, and towards a place of compassion and curiosity? Try this simple trick. This week, start adding this short phrase to thoughts or feelings that you have. Watch what happens. Journeying with you, Dan